Please Explain #29

Q: Soda, you are a long time Angeleno, having resided in L.A. by our rough estimation at least more than ten years with a brief respite in Seattle in the middle of those ten years. Would you please explain your various relationships with automobiles during your time in this city where it's almost impossible to live without owning a car. What was the first car that brought you there? The first car you bought to live there? The first car you sold? Your favorite mechanic? Anything that will illuminate your experience with cars, the 405, and all things California Auto.

Dup!

HOLY CRAP-I am honored- HONORED that I am asked this very very important question...I think this could be a novel sized answer--I will try to keep it reasonable. Of course feel free to edit...

Yes. In LA, you car is your home away from home, and for better or worse, where you will spend most of your time. I am of the mind that a car, once paid for, should be run until it runs no more, even if its not cool anymore- or never was. Many a valet have raised their eyebrows at my car, giving me the "really? If you are driving that, maybe you shouldn't be here." Look...tough cookies, park it.

I drove into LA in 93' (right before the earthquake and right after the riots) in a used, 1988 (?), 5-speed, 4-door, Toyota hatchback - Silver. It was a car that had traveled with me for several years already by then, to Florida and back to Michigan, and was made up of many other car's parts. Though it served me well for many years, ended up being the kind of car that leaked every fluid eventually, and like a good friend, I knew what kind of liquid it needed by the sound it made. The very day I went out to get a new car, it died, making a horrible screaming noise, during rush hour, in the middle of Wilshire Blvd...It was a very dramatic break up.

With the help of my mom's co-signing ability, I bought a 5-speed Shiny Black, Honda Civic BRAND new- the only brand new car I've ever had. Complete with air conditioning (A MUST) and the splurged installed stereo with cd player (which I still have all these years later). I hadn't yet learned that there was a reason NOT to have a stick shift in LA. Of course, I got stuck at a light on La Cienega & Sunset (a steep hill), with a car full of friends on a Friday night round 11pm---oh boy...terrible...lesson learned.

When we moved to Seattle we sold this car and bought the used '95, 4 door Mazda protégé, manual (finally), that I still drive now. With 166,000 miles on it, I keep putting new tires on it and pray it will make it just a little while longer...Over time I have learned the importance of weather stripping (which fell apart and I never replaced, slap to forehead, so now it sounds like a wind tunnel and smells pretty moldy)...

Since we returned, David has driven two cars that were gifts from friends, believe it or not. Both on their last legs and sans air conditioning...I honestly don't know how he does it...

You will have your own relationship with the freeways. I like the 101 and the 2. I hate the 405 the 10 and most especially HATE HATE HATE the 110- I WILL AVOID THE 110 at all costs, if I can- it was built when cars only went 30 mph and is narrow with entrances and exits that are way too short- the last time I took it a helicopter crashed into the freeway- for reals- I hate it- my friends laugh at me- but I hate it. Sometimes, surface streets are better, faster and safer. Trust your "vibe" gut.

MY ADVICE:

Invest in an ear piece for your cellphone. You will be on the phone while you drive, like it or not, and by the time you get here, it's gonna be the law...

It's JUST a car- someone will ding it- you will ding someone else someday-don't panic and don't get a car that you can't bear to scratch. In fact, give it a little key, the moment you get it- get that over with so it doesn't break your heart.

Pay your parking tickets right away. There was a time that I just threw them in the back seat and "forgot about them", and the piper came a calling-believe you me-it was no fun.

Gas is outrageous, good idea to get a good mileage car. Or one of those corn cars (they smell like french fries, but what the heck).

Always keep $5-10 dollars cash on you in case you have to pay for parking.

Sometimes online maps will tell you the worst way. If you map to our apartment it will almost always tell you to take a hill seriously steeper than any in San Francisco. Many folks have arrived visibly shaken. My brakes aren't even good enough to handle it, frankly.

Don't get something so big you can't park it. When you test drive cars PARK THEM and just see how you do.

Remember that motorcycles are allowed to drive between lanes here- keep you eye out for them and for people crossing the road on foot all of the sudden-for no reason. They will.

California has different standards for emissions- so I would recommend you buy your car in California, because those cars are already "smog ready" and will pass the test (something you have to do every other year).

Your mechanic is HUGE- this is going to sound sexist, bear with me, but some mechanics are creeps to gals, I've been taken for a ride a few times. I would suggest Dup create the relationship with your mechanic EVEN if Hilary knows more about cars. Unless, of course, you go to our guy: Gary at Bethlehem Motors in Burbank. He has a lot of fancy clients, so he is always very very busy-but well worth the wait-and distance to get there. He's a no-bullshit South African, very much a guy's guy- I used to be slightly afraid of his no nonsense ways, but this guy is AMAZING-AMAZING. On more than one occasion has fixed whatever it was right then and sent me on my way---once, that horrible smell and smoke was a plastic bag stuck and burning up under there somehow...There are times when it takes a few days- and that can be rough, but when he says it needs something- I believe him.

We get out oil changed at the same place we have for years as well...Dave's Quick Lube, in the valley too- fast, friendly and they always check for lights out as well, which I really appreciate. This oil change thing is vital- don't let it go...

Also, it's the desert, so your car will get dirty- very dirty, very fast. That's life- why waste water, it's just a car. Wash it when its driving you crazy, but wash your windows every time you get gas.

I'm old school, so I believe it is still a good idea to have a THOMAS GUIDE in your car. It's a huge book-map of LA. There are times when you will miss your exit- get off a freeway and not know where you are, or how to get back on. Unless of course, you have one of those fancy talking maps.

To recap:

You want a MANUAL car with AIR CONDITIONING and a good STEREO and a THOMAS GUIDE.

and that's my $4 a gallon - thanks for asking me- hope its helpful- see you on the 210 to the 10 to the 5 to the 2 to the 101 to the 405 to the...

-Soda

One more thing:

Sigalert ... is a good site to have.

-Soda

Books Read in 08 #6

This book made me excited for the time in the near future when I can read little D a book without him wanting to eat it.

It's basically an argument for all the advantages of reading aloud to kids even after they can read themselves. Since the author is a former newspaper man there are moments when he threatens to drown the whole thing in statistics, but he balances it with plenty of inspiration to carry you through to the end. The second half of the book is an excellent reference to great titles of children's literature.

I picked up my copy from the library, but I'm going to buy a copy for my family after reading it. In fact, I think a good gift for new parents would be a copy of this along with two or three of the children's titles he recommends.

Books Read in 08 #5

This appealed to the voyeur in me, as well as my inner comic book geek, fan of Jim's Journal, high school skate rat, and twenty-year old self. There's a little bit of something for every facet of my fragmented self.

It's also a great example of how beautiful it can be to follow something simple like three things that you did that day if you do it for an extended period of time. (This dude has drawn this comic daily for at least six years which is impressive given the amount of drugs and booze he ingests daily.)

Plus there's a CD that you can dump into Itunes and listen to bands like "This Bike is A Pipe Bomb."

Sample from Putting the Days To Bed a play by Deron Bos

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For an introduction to this play go here.

My Plays For The Stage (So Far) #9

Putting The Days To Bed (2007-Still A Work in Progess)

I could say a lot about the reading of this play on Sunday but I want to keep it simple so I'll just say: it was really fun. The actors were uniformly excellent( special mention going to Kip who returned to acting with a hilarious and confident performance as The Back to The Future obesessed Simon.) The direction by Jimena was clean and uncluttered (exactly what I wanted) and the audience was engaged and generous with the laughter. Bang! It works. That's what you want from a reading I think. Potential producers should note that this play:

1. Only requires a wooden table and some chairs for its set.
2. Has a manageable cast with two great female leads and a crackerjack male part.
3. Is a comedy that delivers laughs and a play that more than a few people told me they found "moving."
4. Clocks in at about 58 pages and runs at about an hour twenty.

Thanks to all who came out on Sunday. Now anybody know someone I can talk to at Ars Nova?

Basically this play came to be because I had to write a proposal for the Lab to be considered at all and I didn't have any ideas so I took this great writing advice and made a list of every "personal or compulsive fascination that I wouldn’t necessarily discuss with just anyone" that was on my mind last spring. You can look at the results in the original proposal here. I had no idea how this would all come together as a coherent play when I sat down to write it but somehow it did in some really satisfying and surprising ways.

Hey Ladies!

Happy Mother's Day to the ladies!

This Sunday May 11 at 7pm: "Getting back was only the beginning"

Hi all,

If you're free this Sunday please come down and hear my new play. It'll probably be my last reading in NYC for a while as the family is moving to LA in July.

Thanks for all the well wishes from out of state and out of country folks.

Best,

D.

Soho Rep.
2007-2008 WRITER/DIRECTOR LAB READING SERIES

PUTTING THE DAYS TO BED
A new play by Deron Bos
Directed by Jimena Duca
Sunday, May 11 at 7pm

A long night of drinking in which Annie considers her marriage, Mara offers dreams of personal finance perfection and Simon discovers the hidden pleasures of Back to The Future Part II.

Featuring:

Jennifer Morris
Jenny Seastone Stern
Kip Fagan

Downtown's premiere program for new plays celebrates its 10th anniversary. Readings of the very newest work at Soho Rep.

Free. First come, first served. All readings 7pm at Soho Rep.

Soho Rep.
46 Walker Street
2 blocks below Canal Street
between Broadway and Church
A/C/E, N/R or 6 to Canal, 1 to Franklin

Please Explain #28

Q: Cara way back in 1996 you were invited along with other members of The Whitman Contigent and the burgeoning members of Printer's Devil Theatre to the Ocas Island Cabin of The Family Kunz. If are reports are correct on the first morning of the retreat you were spotted in a chair contently reading a vintage copy of one of Ian Fleming's James Bond novels. What we're wondering, what we've been dying to ask you since 1996 is what's the deal with you and Bond? Give us the whole story about you and Bond novels -- was this a one time thing or have you read the entire cannon? Do you enjoy the movies as well? What's up with you and Bond. James Bond.

I am pleased as punch to be part of the "Please Explain" series...especially since your question is about Ian Fleming's James Bond. Although I don't really recall the event in question (reading a Bond book at the Orcas cabin), rest assured that it was not the first time nor the last that I have immersed myself in a vintage Bond paperback. I have read all of Ian Fleming's James Bond books, multiple times. I own nine of them (all paperbacks, with crazy retro cover art), and they are prominently displayed on my bookshelf. I love love love James Bond. The movies are good, sometimes great (I am first and foremost a Connery fan, with Daniel Craig in second place), but Fleming's books are better. Bond on the page is much darker and crueler, more spy-like. Fleming's straightforward writing style, coupled with the books' retro scenarios, make the stories utterly delectable. Not to mention the fact that Fleming's jacket photo shows him holding a gun in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

As for the movies...I grew up watching the movies, that was my introduction to Bond. I did not discover the paperbacks until much later; in fact, it was probably around the time of the Orcas trip! As I write this I'm realizing that the Orcas trip might have been my first taste of Bond in written form. Crazy! Anyway...movies. Yes. I started a bit too young. I watched them with my Dad and my older brother, but I couldn't quite grasp the inevitable 007 twists and turns. My poor Dad was forced to tear his attention away from the story to answer my never-ending questions: "Why did that man take the gun? I thought he was good." "Now why is he pretending to be tied up?" "Why is that woman taking the Faberge Egg?" And so on. I have seen all of the Bond movies, many of them five times or more. I can't turn away. My favorite movie: Goldfinger. Favorite paperback: On Her Majesty's Secret Service. (The movie is pretty well done, too -- Diana Rigg! -- but Lazenby just doesn't cut it for me. It's a shame.) I am already getting worked up about the next 007/Daniel Craig movie, due out in November.

One final piece of Bond dorkiness: Last year I went to London on vacation, and I made a very special trip to the bar at Duke's Hotel. My mission: to have a martini. Legend has it that early in his writing career, Ian Fleming had a martini at Duke's. The drink was so well-made, he decided that the martini should be James Bond's drink of choice. !! It was one of my favorite experiences in London. And yes, the martini was delicious.

That's it! Well, I mean, I could go on for hours about James Bond, but I think that covers it for "Please Explain."

Thanks Dup!